Stephen Hawking said that if aliens ever contact us, we should avoid them at all costs, but the only thing we’ve learned from all UFO movies about people meeting with aliens is that you should wait at leas three days to call after making first Contact.
If that were really alien life, they were wise not to hop off the ship. We don’t do very well with aliens:”We’d come down,” they said, “but not before they pass the DREAM Act!”, “You don’t understand,” they would explain, “we’ve got technology from the future!”, “That’s nice,” we’ll say. “But where’s your green card?”
Aliens came from Gliese 581 G, the mystical “Goldilocks” planet that we thought was habitable and that now some scientists are saying doesn’t show up in the data at all. Or maybe they flew over a Paladino rally. “Looks inhospitable,” they’ll mutter. “Especially since, where we come from, gyrating wildly in short shorts is how we say hello.”
UFO’s floated over Manhattan. “That doesn’t look all that habitable to me,” they said, glancing down. “Besides, I doubt the coop boards will be enthused about our pets, who are giant, noisy robots with very limited bladder control.”Or maybe they come to take back Christine O’Donnell and, after watching the debate, decided they didn’t want her after all, after last night’s debate, it wouldn’t be surprising.
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